Alright, I still can'tdecide
whether I should design
myown backdrop or just
use a blogger template
for my new layout so I
decided to go ahead with
blogging before the cows
come home lol... To be honest
I have no idea what I should blog about right
now. Lots of random thoughts are going through my
head. Ah... okay, here goes... As most of you know(referring
to my friends,just in case there are some random readers :D), I just
completed one of the most grueling task of me life... well... okay it's debatable. That's not the point. Point is... What the heck! I think I have
no point lol... I don't know what's happening actually.Just feeling emotional these couple of days.I guess it just hit me that me life in college is officially over. The sad thing was I didn't get the chance to actually say goodbye to my friends since I was busy meeting a dateline. I know I should be feeling light hearted right now since everything that I was worrying about the last few weeks had gone with the wind but is this really the end already? The people that I use to go to college with on a daily basis... Friends that I had my meals with... Lecturers that I complained on seeing very too often every semester... All I can do now is miss them and with time... probably these memories will slowly fade away, replaced by new ones. There are a few of my friends who are still going to be here, but I don't really know if I have the will to catch up with them. The truth is, I don't really know if they felt the same way about me. Am I just another person that walks pass their lives without really leaving any visible footprints? I think I would rather leave it as it is than to find out the truth. Besides, I'm not really good at handling emotional stuff... Heck, I rarely even show my emotions. Aside from being a b*tch at times... ahem... Sometimes I think it's hard to really connect with other people, aside from my close friends, because they will never really know me... It'll take a lot for me to open up to someone. Maybe that's why I hardly ever have personal conversations with most of them. Case in point, I remember when the last time I saw one of them it was raining <----(seriously) heavily<---- (dramatic effect). For privacy purposes lets name the person X <----(so generic I know). Okay stop captioning words Ivan! Back to the topic... X asked me a personal question reminding me that we've been friends for two and a half years so I should be honest. It was probably my last chance to make that connection but instead I told X I will send my answer via postage when I get home <---- (yeah rite). So there goes... story of me life. Cursed to keep everything to meself. Wishing people could read my thoughts without me having to convey it to them... Well at least I know my life isn't completely doomed. God has been gracious to me in many ways. During my countless crazy days, I have people who were there for me when I needed help most and these "angels" *laughs uncontrollably* comes in a form of close friends. I want to thank each and everyone of you who have helped me in so many ways... Some who helped me source for research materials, one who have stayed up till late nights proof reading my work, slotting in some nonsensical chats in between, that was probably one of the factors that kept me going on lol... and also my loyal reliable "house elf" haha... I'll give you my laundry when I get back home so you can be free! So on Saturday, I managed to complete my thesis at 11 a.m.. Just an hour ahead of the dateline. It was one of the most crazy feelings ever, having to race against time to complete what was termed as the most important subject in my academic life. I took a cab to save some time as I still haven't printed my work at that moment. Printing was exceptionally fast. I felt like kissing the auntie for being so efficient but I didn't want to risk getting a tight slap on my face. When I got to the staff room it was practically empty accept for one lecturer. We chatted for a bit. Mostly about "The Lost Thesis"... I told him I was actually contemplating on quitting at some point but decided against it. He told me that I shouldn't and I made the right choice for continuing. At that point I told meself everything I went through was worth it. I mean I knew it was worth it but I just needed someone to tell me that and it meant a lot to me that he did. Furthermore, I have a lot of respect for this particular lecturer, so there... value added to his words. I left my thesis on my subject lecturer's table but I wanted to thanked him for giving me the benefit of the doubt during my ordeal but when I get to see him I gave some lame excuse that I wanted to fill in the plagiarism form. I don't know why but I just felt like he was distancing himself from me? No longer that warm? Maybe it's all in my head. You can't really blame me right? I was practically deprived of sniffing my "dirty pillow" for so many nights because I either take short snoozes outside the living room or I fall straight asleep without quality time with my pillow. Whooh.... what a relief! I finally got everything out. Now I can move forward. Actually now is probably the best time to start a new chapter. Wait... make that another book... Yeah, that's more like it. Chapter one: Ivan noticed a hint of wrinkle on his forehead. He yelled, "OMG" only to be reminded by his consciousness not to use God's name in vanity... or was it
vain? Arghh... whatever... I totally suck at writting essays... Happy 22nd
anniversary to meself, I guess it's just me and my dirty pillow tonight.
