Yesterday evening, I woke up to the sound of raindrops and the sight of bluish hue with my ultra powerful fan blowing directly at me. I felt as if I was on some mountain top. The smell of rain, oh yes did I ever tell you that I love the smell of rain? The smell of rain always sets me in the mood for waxing nostalgic. It's extremely therapeutic, especially to me when coupled with the sound of raindrops, because it calms me down. It's like an invisible curtain separating you from the helter-skelter of the world. Strangely, it makes me feel safe. I reached for my comforter and snuggled, wishing that time would freeze at that very moment forever.

The past few weeks has been very taxing. I can't exactly pinpoint the cause as it is a combination or various events, mostly work related. As most of you (my close friends) know, I completed my internship more than a week ago. I thought now should be the time of my life. Time to enjoy freedom but I guess my conscience is not letting me go the easy way which should be a good thing but the irony is that the thought of getting things right is sucking the happiness out of my life. The more I think of my future, the more messed up I realized my life is. Sometimes I wish I have someone that can sit me down and tell me what's right and what's wrong. Someone to give me a piece of his mind or even a much more possessive parents? Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to have parents that gives me the freedom to do whatever I want but there are just times when you really need a guide in life and that's when the freedom starts to feel more like loneliness.

So I've been offered a job, sort of. Nothing is confirmed until I've been interviewed by the human resource. In the meantime I've found another position in the same place but different department which I might be more interested in and I've submitted my resume to the person in charge. Now the question is that am I right to hand in my resume to another person after accepting an offer by someone when nothing is confirmed yet? My initial thought was that it was my future and I need to think about myself first but then I thought it was also wrong of me to change my mind so fast. For me, both of the departments are of my interest is just that one might offer a better benefit than the other. It's now up to them to decide but I think I should give a call to check on the situation.

Putting that behind, I've tons of unfinished business before I can officially declare the start of my one month holiday. First I need to re-edit my dissertation before I send it for printing to be compiled into a book, then I need to completely reorganize my room to give me a fresh start and last but not least to draw a financial plan for my future. Money not enough mah...